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lyrics

(Cave)

I sold curtains, sold them door to door.

Shower curtains - but now I have more!

In these labs, oh the things I've in store.

Just trust me

And you'll see

What this testing is for!

I bought up this abandoned salt mine

Built a business that's going just fine!

Buff those housings, I want them to shine -

I'm the boss

And you're dross

So you'd best toe the line!

(Caroline)

Sir!

(Chorus)

Mr. Johnson

Inspiration!

For invention and sales!

You're a globe-striding man

And we're part of your plan

Could we do what you can?

We really doubt it!

(Cave)

You may be right there.

(Chorus)

Mr. Johnson

You're a genius

You show us which way to go!

At your behest we make innovations

(Cave)

Good - show me your latest creations!

(Chorus)

You're the boss, the king, our employer

(Cave)

You - you're fired! (to Caroline) Get me a lawyer!

(Chorus)

You're Mr. Johnson!

(Caroline)

Gosh, Mr. Johnson, I never realized that large, morally questionable scientific facilities could be such a force for good in the world!

(Cave)

Few do.

(Space)

All the gadgets we've got in this place

Could help me when I make it to space!

(Adventure)

Keep it up, get a fist in your face.

(Together)

He's a jerk

But we work

From a similar base.

(Fact)

We're not crackpots, as some make us seem.

We've got this country's best research team!

Though the ones all in hats work on something called Steam.

What it's for

We're not sure

But we're living the dream!

(Caroline)
'Cause

(Chorus)

Mr. Johnson's

Got the answers

Cut those cancers

Right out!



(Caroline)

That’s my boss!

(Chorus)
Your ambitions are high

But you're humble as pie!

What a wonderful guy!

We simply love you!

(Cave)

You're making me blush, now!

(Chorus)

Mr. Johnson!

You're so awesome!

Guide us into the light!

(Guys)

You've a class your own above other classes


(Cave)

Gonna kick some Black Mesan (coughs)


(Girls)
Though the fed'ral queries are mounting


(Chorus)
You've brushed off two dozen and counting.

You're Mister - You're Mister

(Cave)

Johnson!

(Chorus)

Johnson!


credits

from Portal 2: The (Unauthorized) Musical Cast Album, released March 13, 2015
Davin Reid as Cave Johnson
Fairlith Harvey as Caroline
Rael Linford as the Space Core
Stephen Blakley as the Adventure Core
Andrew Lynch as the Fact Core
And the scientists.

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Geekenders Vancouver, British Columbia

Geekenders creates geeky theatre and events in Vancouver, BC

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